Honoring the Life and Legacy of
Helen May Zehr
Obituary
Helen May Zehr passed away peacefully on October 23, 2022 at the Winchester District Memorial Hospital in Winchester, Ontario, in her 98th year. She was predeceased by her beloved husband of 71 years, Delmer.
Helen was born in Wilmot Township in the County of Waterloo on June 14, 1925, to Joseph Stere and Viola (Saddler) Stere. She left home at an early age to work in a woolen mill and then at the Kitchener hospital. She married Del in August 1947 and their journey through life took them to live in Cochrane, Timmins, Ottawa, Brampton and Winchester. Together they raised three children: Kent (Charlotte) of Calgary; Laura Tremblay of Acton, Ontario; and Nancy Torrance (John) of South Mountain, Ontario.
Helen was blessed with eight grandchildren; Tymmarah, Jacob, Trisha, Mia, Jenny, Graham, Andrew and the late Christine as well as great-grandchildren; Eric, Veronica, Jake, Franki, Logan, Abigail, Lauren and Esme, as well as great-great-grandchild Steele. She is survived by two brothers, Clayton Stere and Arthur Stere, and by many nieces and nephews. She also leaves behind two ‘chosen’ and much-loved family members, Mary-Jo and Suzanne.
Helen was a devoted wife and loving mother and grandmother. Throughout her life she was a creative needlewoman, fantastic cook and baker, active in her community and a true friend to many. Winding down her retirement years in Chesterville, Ontario, one of her greatest joys was staying in touch with her far-flung friends and family.
In lieu of flowers, donations to Heart and Stroke Foundation of Canada would be gratefully received.
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT:
Laura & Kent also wish to make special acknowledgement of their sister Nancy and her husband John, for their many years of dedicated and continued care of both our parents. Their ongoing loving kindness to Mom over the past four years since Dad’s passing was such a gift, particularly when imposed isolation made in-person visits so difficult. Thank you, Nancy and John, and please accept our gratitude for being Mom’s rock, even in the face of your own overwhelming loss.
Virtual Celebration of Life &
Online Reception
Recorded Wednesday, October 12, 2022
Dave’s family invites you to view the recording of the virtual Celebration of Life Service & Reception honoring his life and legacy.
Slideshow (coming soon)
Photo Gallery
Your Mother Is Always With You
She’s the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street.
She’s the smell of certain foods you remember, flowers you pick, the fragrance of life itself.
She’s the cool hand on your brow when you’re not feeling well.
She’s your breath in the air on a cold winters’ day.
She is the sound of the rain that lulls you to sleep, the colors of a rainbow.
She is Christmas morning.
Your mother lives inside your laughter.
She’s the place you come from, your first home.
She’s the map you follow with every step you take.
She’s your first love, your first friend, even your first enemy.
But nothing on Earth can separate you.
Not time.
Not space.
Not even death.
by Deborah Culver
How We Met
by Helen Zehr
Written in 2003 for Helen’s youngest granddaughter who was working on a school project.
We both went to the same church and so (sort of) knew each other. In those days when a young man wanted to meet a girl and take her out he called at her home, or in my case, at the farm where I worked. I thought he was good looking and had a great smile so I went out with him. On my sixteenth birthday he took me to his niece’s wedding. From then on we were often together although not like today. We may have had a date every week or two and it was just getting together for a drive with friends who had a car. It would be short trips sometimes to Kitchener, Stratford or even Niagara Falls. Occasionally there were
Sunday evening bank concerts or a fall fair. That year my twin brothers Richard and Raymond were born and I left the farm to help out at home for almost a year.
Now that I was sixteen the woollen mill could give me a job at Tavistock. It was a boring job, knitting army socks until you felt like part of the machine but it was a paycheque and I needed it. During this time we often spent a weekend at Del’s home with his family until he was sent to BC for selective service in 1943. His Mom died just after he left but the news didn’t reach him until days later when he got off the train in Vancouver. We kept in touch by mail. Phones were for emergency use and quite expensive. Part of this time I boarded with an uncle and aunt and later with Gertie and Aaron Roth who later became my in-laws. I always liked being there and later when Gertie had gall bladder surgery (which was a major operation at that time). I quit the mill and looked after her and helped her keep house. When she was fully recovered I got my job at KW Hospital in Kitchener.
My first job here was in the kitchens and dining rooms mostly serving in the staff dining rooms where the first party to be served arrived at 6:30 am This room was for doctors and nursing supervisors. It was equipped with special dishes, white tablecloths, and silver cutlery. Duties were setting up, serving and of course, washing dishes. Hours were from 6 am to 2 pm and then from 4 pm to 6pm. I stayed in residence at the hospital so not far to go to work. In my time off I would often go to my late Uncle Meno (Smokey) Saddler and Aunt Ethel or sometimes go out with some of the other girls to a movie or write letters to Del in the army.
Times were very different in the post war years. While I was working at the hospital, Del got a job in Kitchener and we began making plans to get married. First we had to find a place to live which was not easy. There were no apartments to be had but Del’s uncle, Emory Zehr, rented us one. It required a lot of cleaning to make it liveable but we liked the idea of finally having a place of our own. On August 14th, 1947 we were married and had a three day honeymoon in Kingston. Then, HOME to our own place. I changed jobs to work in the laundry at the hospital. The hours were better and I could now be home to cook dinner for my husband. After Kent arrived I stayed home to look after him. In those days very few women with children worked outside the home. And now, after 56 years we are still together and still love each other.
I will miss my sister. I enjoyed the visits that Clayton and I made when Del and Helen were still living at their home in Winchester.
I am eternally grateful to have known Helen’s love all of my life. My earliest memories include her, Del, Kent, Laura and Nancy. They are my chosen family. I have always felt that Helen was my second mom, from the earliest days when she cared for me while my mother worked and my father was away. Growing up, their home and my home were interchangeable and one in the same. Helen always made me feel loved, accepted and welcomed.
With our backyards connected, I would simply walk over and into their kitchen and most often be greeted with amazing aromas of something Helen was cooking or baking in the oven. She was always an excellent cook and baker. Helen was also a talented seamstress and knitter. When I was younger, she made me a beautiful white and purple dress and cape that I proudly wore to my uncle’s wedding. In my teen years, she knitted me a warm, forest green poncho, that I still wear. In later years, she thoughtfully made both of my children lovely knitted sweaters and blankets. She also gifted me with a set of crocheted stars, that will hold special meaning on our Christmas tree this year.
When Helen and Del moved from Timmins, Helen and I kept in touch with in person visits (never enough of those due to life and distance), letters (I still have some), emails and phone calls. I loved talking with her. Telling and listening to stories from the past and catching up on life and family events. I feel like I know her grandchildren and great grandchildren while never having met any of them. She was proud of her family and her love shone brightly for each one.
Through the years, Helen was always a guiding light for me, a voice of wisdom and a calming influence. I drew courage and strength from her experience and counsel. I admired how she would acknowledge reality and yet find balance with an optimistic outlook. She was a strong, gracious, thoughtful and loving woman. Helen also had a wonderful sense of humour and during our calls, we often shared a good laugh about something.
While I knew there would come a day, I miss her voice and her presence. I will cherish my memories of her. I am grateful to have known her love. I believe that she knew how much I loved and appreciated her. I imagine that she is once again with Del and perhaps enjoying a laugh with my mom.
Nancy, Laura and Kent, you remain in my heart as cherished, chosen family. Much love to you all.
Mary-Jo
Dearest Helen,
Your kids can be so proud of you. It was my lucky day when we moved in across the road from you and Del. I always say when I grow up, I want to be just like you, Helen.
Our introduction was when someone broke into our half-built house and made a mess. I had to go across the road and borrow a pail of hot water and some rags from Helen. We became instant friends after that and I know they watched out for our house until we got moved in after that.
We had so many good times, going to the Playhouse with Barb, Tim Hortons for coffee and lunch out with the girls.
When Robert got sick, Helen made her delicious bran and apricot muffins every week for him. He loved them, they were so good. After Robert died, Helen sent over super for me many times. She was an excellent cook and baker. She made a great chicken potpie and a beautiful Black Forest cake. Mmm… love you, Helen. When Nancy would go to Costco, Helen and Del would send her to my house with a lovely barbecue chicken for me. Nancy would say “Mom and Dad thought you ‘needed’ this chicken.” Always so kind and thoughtful of them. Nancy, you took such good care of your parents always.
It was one of the saddest days for me when Helen was leaving her house with one little suitcase and her purse, with Nancy and Laura. She was moving down to the Villa. She never looked back at the house. It broke my heart, my darling Helen having to leave her home, but at least her and Del were going to be together again when he got out of hospital. I missed her so much. It’s never been the same.
Helen was such a strong lady. All the years Del was on the road working, she kept things going at home with the children. She told me lots of amusing stories when they lived up north. Helen was a great judge of character. She made and kept many life-long friends from wherever they lived and kept in touch with many of them for a long time.
Helen gave me lots of good advice and help. She was my best friend. Even though we were a few years apart, she always knew what to say and was always so understanding. She used to say, “At our age, men are just interested in a nurse or a purse.” She had such wisdom, and we had lots of laughs together.l
One day Helen had three scam calls in a row. She was getting annoyed and on the third call she finally said to the guy, “You are full of shit!” Then she called me and told me what had happened, she said she had been hanging around with us girls (Charlotte, Arlene and me) too long and we were corrupting her language. Helen really never said bad words.
Both Del and Helen were so kind to everyone. At the Villa, after Del passed, Helen helped as many people as she could. There was a gentleman at the Villa who had Alzheimers. He had put his coat on upside down. Helen called him over to her table and helped him to turn his coat the right way around and get it on properly. While some of the others were laughing at him, Helen stepped up and helped him. That’s the kind of lady she was. After that every day he would walk by her table and run into her walker with his walker. I think he was flirting with her. Helen often helped other lost souls to get back to their rooms when they were wandering the halls, lost. Everyone that needed a little help.
Helen was very proud of all her family and just thought the world of all of you. She told me many times.
We had many two-hour conversations after supper, reminiscing and laughing, gossiping and catching up on the latest news and scandals in the neighbourhood. I would say, “Helen, I have some good gossip,” and she would say, “Oh, good!”
Helen was lovely inside and out, and we shared many good times and laughs, at lunch at Tim Hortons, with Charlotte, Marie and Grace (our coffee girls). I say ‘girls’, we are all over 70 (kind of old girls). Speaking for all the girls, you are loved and will be missed.
Helen, you will always be my best friend. You are wise and kind and I love you dearly. I will miss you my dear, dear friend. I will love you and remember you always.
Love, Sue
xxxooo
P.S. Helen: say ‘hi’ to Del. I miss him too. Now you are together again. I will still send you the gossip!